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March 27th, 2012

ATRA Calls on New York to Reevaluate Driving Skills of Elderly Plaintiff Who Walked into Wall

An 83-year-old woman joined the ranks of other shamelessly litigious New Yorkers when she last week filed a $1 million lawsuit against tech giant Apple after walking into a glass wall at one of its modern-design stores and allegedly breaking her nose.

Like the fat guy who sued White Castle because he ate so many of its tasty hamburgers that he could no longer fit into its booths, the pathetic crack-pot who sued his wedding photographer years after the wedding and a subsequent divorce, and the estate of a similarly fragile old woman who sued some preschoolers after she was awkwardly entangled in their training-wheel race, Evelyn Paswall of Queens claims she couldn’t see the Apple store’s wall and that the retailer should have done more to prevent her blind-as-a-bat accident.

Here’s a friendly suggestion, Evelyn: Stay home!  Your crybaby lawsuit is sickening, and you’re obviously a danger to yourself and the public, to say nothing of “Sue York’s” anemic economy.  To the extent you need to purchase anything in your remaining years, try shopping online.  And by the way, Evelyn, your boasting to the New York Post about your supposedly wonderful eyesight and the fact that you’re still driving your car prompts ATRA to call upon New York State Department of Motor Vehicles Commissioner Barbara Fiala to immediately invoke her authority under NYS Vehicle & Traffic Law Section 506 (1) to order a reevaluation of your skills as an “older driver.” 

According to the DMV’s website, “If the Commissioner has ‘reasonable grounds’ to believe that a person holding a license is not qualified to drive a motor vehicle, the Commissioner may require such a person submit to an examination to determine their qualifications.”

Well, Evelyn, if you can’t keep yourself from walking into walls at the Apple store, then clearly Commissioner Fiala has reasonable grounds to believe you might not be able to keep your car from plowing into a crowd of children at a school bus stop or crossing the double-yellow into oncoming traffic.  Of course, you could afford to hire a chauffeur if you win your ridiculous lawsuit.

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