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April 4th, 2014

Rock-Climbing Plaintiff, Lawyer Asking To Be ‘Stoned’ By ‘Sue’ York City Taxpayers

A shamelessly foolish rock-climber and his disgraceful attorney are suing New York City taxpayers for the city’s failure to post a “No Climbing” sign near a rock sculpture and thus simultaneously tempting those who’ll foot the bill to stone them.

As reported by the New York Post, Brooklyn resident and personal trainer Jonathan Stock, 32, “is suing the city after falling from a large boulder in a Hudson River Park that he says was just begging to be climbed.”

“Just because I’m an adult doesn’t mean I don’t get to explore the world, too,” said Stock, who claims to have ruptured his Achilles tendon in the fall last June.

“Most of the rocks are flat,” reports the Post, “and range from a couple of inches to a few feet tall. But the centerpiece is a 10-foot-tall, rectangular boulder with a slight slope on one side.”

Stock’s lawsuit against the city and the Hudson River Park Trust in Manhattan Supreme Court seeks unspecified damages, claiming the tall rock “created a dangerous condition.”  The lack of a warning sign constituted “negligence,” claims the idiot who thought he could handle the danger.

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